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The Nothing to See Here Hotel

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The Nothing to See Here Hotel Reviews | Toppsta

Book Rating: 5 based on 29
29 Reviews
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'This book is so good you won't blunking believe it!' Tom Fletcher
'Hilariously funny and inventive, and I love the extraordinary creatures and the one thirty-sixth troll protagonist...' Cressida Cowell
'A rip-roaring, swashbuckling, amazerous magical adventure. Comedy Gold.' Francesca Simon

`This hotel gets five stars from me' Liz Pichon
'A splundishly swashbungling tale of trolls, goblins and other bonejangling creatures. Put on your wellies and plunge into the strangest hotel you will ever encounter. This is a hotel I hope I never find! Wonderfully, disgustingly funny.' Jeremy Strong
`What a fun hotel! Book me in immediately!' Kaye Umansky

Welcome to The Nothing to See Here Hotel! A hotel for magical creatures, where weird is normal for Frankie Banister and his parents who run the hotel.

When a goblin messenger arrives at The Nothing to See Here Hotel, announcing the imminent arrival of the goblin prince Grogbah, Frankie and his family rush into action to get ready for their important guest. But it soon becomes obvious that the Banister family are going to have their work cut out with the demanding prince and his never-ending entourage, especially when it turns out the rude little prince is hiding a secret...

The first book in a fabulously funny series by bestselling author Steven Butler, with a host of whacky characters brought to life with illustration from the wonderful Steven Lenton !

The Nothing to See Here Hotel Reviews | Toppsta

9781471163838

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This is Book 1 in the Nothing to see Here Hotel Series. See all Nothing to see Here Hotel books here.

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24th April '19
I read it myself (an adult) , to PixieRabbit aged 6 aged 6 & to Picklefae aged 2 aged 2
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
This story is inventive and hitting the comedy side of gross that children adore at that age and so is utterly perfect for fans of Andy Stanton's Mr Gum, Laura Ellen Anderson's Amelia Fang and Dahl. We listened to this first on audiobook then red the illustrated novel which makes a big difference as Pixie Tabbit enjoyed looking at the pictures especially the map!

Frankie's world is fun and playful escapism and the plot meanders from the sublimely eccentric to the Monty Pythonesque bonkers in a hummingbird's heart beat. 
For us this is a delightfully funny series we would love to seek out more.
9th January '19
I read it to Sam aged 9 aged 9 & to Matthew aged 6 aged 6
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
This book had been on our wish list for a while and we were not disappointed when we finally got round to reading it.  Our only complaint was, we read it too quickly. It was so funny and the boys kept asking for ‘just another chapter’. The characters are all extremely strange yet funny and our favourite part was when they went dashing out of the invisible hotel! We look forward to reading more about Frankie Bannister and his troll Granny.
17th June '18
I read it to NPTait aged 8 aged 8
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
It was a very good book. Frankie Banister is my favourite in the book and I also loved the spider. Just one thing.. I wish it was longer!
4th March '18
Iowmatilda read it themselves aged 7 aged 7
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
My 7 yo daughter has read this to herself. She loved the magical creatures and thought the story was very funny. She was also pleased that there were lots of pictures which made the book more enjoyable
28th November '18
I read it myself (an adult) & to Class2023 aged 6 to 8
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars

When a goblin messenger arrives at The Nothing to See Here Hotel, announcing the imminent arrival of the goblin prince Grogbah, Frankie and his family rush into action to get ready for their important guest. But it soon becomes obvious that the Banister family are going to  have their work cut out with the demanding prince and his never-ending entourage, especially when it turns out the rude little prince is hiding a secret...

Frankie Bannister is a quarterling troll he has pointy ears, messy hair and the copper coloured eyes of a troll. His father Bargeous is a halfling as his father was a human and Frankie's mum is human too. 
His great-great-great grandpa built the Nothing to see here Hotel a secret hotel where magical creatures live and stay away from the prying eyes of the human world. Granny Regurgita who is a very nasty tempered troll lives with the family too and her pet Thistlewump called Gurp! 
One day a Goblin messengers arrives on a Raven announcing the Barrow Goblin Prince Grogbah is coming to stay at the hotel. Everyone is excited but Granny is suspicious as the Barrow Goblins never come above ground very often. 
What follows is an hilarious story involving an array of funny and magical characters. What is the Goblin Prince hiding .
I came across this book after seeing a review for it on Twitter and the title alone drew me in as did the brilliantly illustrated front cover. After reading the review and blurb for the book I quickly bought it. I wasn't disappointed the story is aimed at 8+ but as an adult it drew me quickly into the funny story with its wonderful characters. 
In the story we have characters like a cook who's a giant spider with a Scottish accent and a blue/ purple perm. Ooof the Ogre handyman. Mr Croakum who is a froggle and married to Mrs V a huge Venus fly trap. We also have triplet tooth fairies The Molar Sisters, Dentina, Gingiva and Fluora, who lisp as they have many teeth missing. 
Granny Regurgita and the Molar sisters are my favourites throughout the book and had me laughing out loud many times.
The book has a great story line and is simply written with some superb illustrations throughout by Steven Lenton. 
At 189 pages it's a quick read and the chapters are short, I gave it 5 stars on Goodreads and I'm quickly moving onto the next book in the series You ain't seen nothing Yeti! 
10th September '18
Jbwise read it themselves aged 10 aged 10
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
I couldn't put this book down once I started reading it, that's how good this book is!
The main characters were really funny and the author describes them really well, you can imagine them in your head even though there isn't a picture of them on the cover. I highly recommend this book to kids my age.
4th March '18
I read it to FJGW aged 6 aged 6
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
F would give this book six stars out of five - but that isn't an option! F says: "What a fun hotel. I love Frankie Bannister because he tells the whole story and I also like Calamitus Plank. I love Gladys Potts because she can turn into a poodle, and I like transforming characters in books. I also did enjoy the story, it was so weird and I love it! It's just the funniest in the world!"

This is the first fictional book that I've read with F (six) that he has asked for every day, he became totally absorbed, loved the characters and the pacing of the story was perfect for him. 

As an adult, the error throughout the book irritated me, but other than that I'd also give it five out of five, and I think F and I are both looking forward to the next book featuring the Nothing to see Here Hotel!

Thank you Toppsta, we loved it. 
20th February '18
I read it to Little bear aged 6 aged 6
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
Me and my little boy love is book it was so funny and the hotel offers everything you could ask for the keep a very busy little boy engaged with laughter. The magical creatures and the family that run it just keep you reading more.
Amazing and so much fun.
21st March '18
Connor08 read it themselves aged 9 aged 9
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
If you are a fan of the film ‘Hotel Transylvania’ then I am sure you will want to read this. It is a more exciting version of that. There is a hotel on a beach, but not everyone knows it is there because it is invisible! It is invisible because it is a hotel just for monsters. If a human finds it they get a smell on them that they dislike and will make them run off. A grumpy troll called Granny Regurgita runs the hotel with her family. One night a messenger delivers important mail to announce Prince Grogbah is coming to stay at the hotel which turns out not to be good news, because he has a secret. There were lots of different characters and my favourite was Frankie and his dragon because they were fun to read about. Frankie is the narrator, so he adds extra bits as he goes along. As soon as the Prince arrives at the hotel I was hooked into the story because it became really exciting. The pictures are really detailed which helps you see it in your mind when you are reading. 
27th October '18
ArwenLOTR read it themselves aged 9 aged 9
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
I loved the plot in this book because it had lots of twists and turns. The writer really made me feel how the main character was feeling. It is a brilliant adventure / mystery story that I would recommend for readers aged 7+. 
27th February '18
I read it to RJ61 aged 6 aged 6
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
Very funny story for a 6 year old boy, about Frankie Banister the quarterling (quarter troll) and the hotel he runs with his Mum, dad and troll Granny, and the Rude goblin prince who comes to visit. 
Great illustrations and text set out perfectly to engage the reader. Would recommend to all my son's friends 
30th March '18
I read it to 2R aged 6 to 7
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
A fantasticly funny and entertaining book for all. I enjoyed this book just as much as the children did. In fact at first I think I was more into it than they were but they quickly got into it and excitedly looked forward to reading time each day so they could find out more about what was happening in The Nothing To See Here Hotel. It certainly raised a few laughs, particularly in relation to Prince Grogbah when he flashed his bare bottom and there was a picture to prove it. The story itself is about a far from normal family who reside in and run the hotel on Brighton sea front. We quickly discovered that the hotel was far more extraordinary than your average holiday destination because the family aren't your average family. The Banister family are descendants of trolls with the most troll-like of all being Granny Rurgagita. Being full troll, she is the one who is most weird, eating strange meals consisting of insects and critters and bumbling around grumbling and scowling. The family entertain all who stay at their hotel from the likes of spiders to tooth fairies. They cater for any peculiar occupant and provide the utmost care to ensure they are pleased and return to the hotel. The hotel is special because although it resides in the human world, it is almost impossible for humans to detect the unusual goings on behind closed doors, due to enchantments cast on the hotel to repel humans from entering and keeping them at arms length. The family get a surprise visit from a goblin who announces that a Prince is to arrive immediately and they should be prepared for his arrival. The Prince arrives with his goblin followers and entourage in tow and much to the hotel occupants' disappointment isn't as pleasant as expected. In fact he's quite spoilt and obnoxious. He makes instant demands and causes ultimate uproar in order to fullfil his selfish tendancies and tastes. Demanding he use the indoor fountain as a private swimming pool. The hotel staff rush to meet his demands to ward off any unauthorized humans from finding out about the hotel. Their aim is to keep him happy to protect their livelihood and the business. This isn't as easy as they anticipate sadly as the Prince is even more demanding than ever when he notices the sea out of a nearby window. Upon noticing it, he instantly demands that it becomes his and makes a run for it to which the hotel staff have to drop everything they are doing and chase after a rather naked Prince who hot foots it out of the hotel and across the road towards the sea. To prevent the humans from thinking anything untoward, Mrs Banister does a belly dance to the cars in traffic and the others manage to hurriedly remove the Prince from the situation. Shortly after returning from the hotel, more chaos breaks out when a pirate ship crashes through the wall of the hotel and out clambers a pirate called Tempestra who proclaims that someone has stolen her father's precious diamonds. The pirate crew begin searching for the diamonds to rekindle the life of their captain - Calamitus Plank. The remainder of the story sees the pirate crew find the diamonds and spark the captain back to life before more antics unravel leaving the hotel in a complete mess and the Prince is a rather difficult situation trying to escape the clutches of the mighty pirate crew. 

The children absolutely loved this story and were heard by other teachers retelling parts of the story that they enjoyed the most. They enjoyed looking at the few pictures the book had but wondered why they weren't in colour as that would have made it more exciting they thought. They hope to have a sequel published to find out what else has been happening in the hotel and some children have even been out and bought the book with their pocket money so they can relive the hustle and bustle all over again. 

AT aged 6: My favourite part was when Prince Grogbah got his bum out and we got to see the picture. It made me laugh a lot and I couldn't believe he had done it because that's quite rude. 
TL aged 7: I loved this book and have my own copy. I was reading it at home when we were reading it at school. I loved the ending. I wasn't expecting that to happen but Grogbah was a bit of a nasty character so I thought something bad might happen to him. 
IW aged 7: I really liked this book because it was funny and full of mad things. I like that it ended the way it did because that was a good resolution for the problem. Prince Grogbah was the problem I think. 
SJ aged 6: I really like the pirates. I like pirates and they're really fun. I like that the captain was a pile of bones before he got his diamonds back. That was funny. It made me laugh I could imagine the skeleton bouncing around and making clacking noises.
FR aged 7: I really liked Frankie because he was brave and managed to save the hotel by chasing after Grogbah. The ending was funny because Mrs Venus didn't know what she'd done. I did not expect that to happen! 
1st May '19
I read it myself (an adult) , to OliB aged 9 aged 9 & to ThongsleyC7 aged 7 to 9
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
Initially read with my son, we loved it so much I shared it with my class, who insisted that the other classes in the year group needed to borrow it! It's fantastically funny and engaging. As a class we spent along time looking at the development of the many characters, writting and drawing profiles on for each, it didn't feel like work. It's so well written that we could visualise it playing out like a movie which is helped by the magnificent illustrations. A firm favourite and highlight of reading with this class. 
17th February '18
I read it myself (an adult)
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
Meet Frankie Banister, who lives at The Nothing To See Here Hotel – the ideal holiday destination for magical creatures of all kinds. The hotel has been in Frankie’s family for generations, some of whom live much, much longer than others (that would be down to the fact that some of them are trolls).

Now, weird is normal here, but sometimes, the weird is even weirder than usual. When Goblin Post arrives at the hotel, announcing the imminent arrival of Grogbah, a goblin prince, it’s all guests to the garden for a welcome party. But, the rude little prince doesn’t come alone, and the Banister family have their hands full keeping the royal guest and his entourage happy. And, it soon appears that the reason for his stay might not be to have a rest from his royal duties after all…

Packed with every imaginable magical creature, and some you probably couldn’t, The Nothing To See Here Hotel is a riotously funny romp of a read, where the laughs come as fast as the action.

Steven Butler has created a wonderfully wacky world full of kooky characters and curious cuisine, which Steven Lenton’s illustrations capture in all their gruesome glory. As fearsome as she is, I definitely have a soft spot for Grandma, though I think I’ll give the 399 steps to go and meet her a miss, and spend my stay in the library – it’s probably safer. I can’t wait for my next trip!

Great for fans of Stitch Head, Amelia Fang, Steam Punk Pirates and You Can’t Make Me Go To Witch School.

Huge thanks to Toppsta and Simon & Schuster for sending me a review copy – it’s going to be a huge hit with the children in school.
17th February '18
I read it to RUBYB aged 6 aged 6
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
I read this to my six year old daughter. She really enjoyed the book and it kept her engaged!  The story has lots of different creatures in it - magical, gruesome and more than I could of imagined! My daughter loved the illustrations throughout the book. I am also going to take this in to read to my class of year 3's as I think they will love it - especially the boys! An excellent, engaging read.
15th April '19
I read it myself (an adult)
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
Firstly the illustrations in this book truely bring the characters and the story alive. I love the way the book is written, it is such an easy read with lots of laugh out loud moments. All I could think whilst reading was how much my class were going to love me reading it to them next term. I can’t wait to read the next two instalments! 
8th April '18
AliceJosephine read it themselves aged 8 aged 8
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
Such a fun hotel mostly invisible to humans, but mostly visible to magical creatures.
I loved this book; totally five stars!
The first line I loved... let's talk about grandma's....I couldn't wait to carry on reading more...
My granny is a troll! I loved these sentences, such a funny book.
18th February '18
finnwren09 read it themselves aged 8 aged 8
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
'The Nothing to see here Hotel' is a really funny book that I finished in one day! I couldn't put it down once I had started reading. Frankie Bannister is a quarterling meaning that he is quarter troll and three quarters human, his parents run the infamous Nothing to see here hotel, which looks normal from the outside but inside is a haven for monsters. The story tells of a visit from a goblin prince who stole diamonds from a bad tempered pirate...I don't want to spoil the fun by telling you any more!
16th March '19
I read it to 3R aged 7 to 8
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
This is brilliant! It is filled with such imaginative characters, really brought to live by Steven Lenton's illustrations - my class particularly enjoyed studying the detailed map of the hotel! There are plenty of silly moments that the children adored, particularly those involving Prince Grogbah. 
22nd January '19
I read it to Year_2 aged 6 to 7
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
A fantastic, laugh out loud book. The children loved the plot and the characters. They looked forward to reading this book everyday and were incredibly engaged by it. A great chapter book for this age group. 
18th March '18
I read it to Lucia B. aged 7 aged 7 & to Elijah B. aged 5 aged 5
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
We loved the weird creatures, the magical happenings, & the super illustrations. 
A very funny book with a totally engaging hero, Frankie, who helps run a hotel for monsters with his part troll family.
Lucia & Elijah wish they could holiday there!
5th November '18
I read it to Piglet aged 6 aged 6
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
5 stars
This is a wildly fantastic and funny book! My son loves humorous tales, and after discovering that it was set in our home town of Brighton, I decided that this was a must as our next story book to read together. And we were not disappointed! The main character is Frankie Bannister who lives in a seafront hotel with his parents.  Only - this is not your average hotel. Frankie's grandmother, who also lives in the hotel, is also a Troll, and the guests are magical creatures.  And the hotel is invisible to humans...  The book is filled with a host of magical characters such as the Molar Sisters, Nanny the Scottish Spider (and hotel chef) and lawn that is alive.  Informed by a flying goblin messenger that a goblin prince is about to visit, the hotel is turned upside down preparing for the imminent visit and then by the demands of the prince once he is in residence. 

This book is wonderfully written, and Frankie is an engaging and authentic narrator of the tale - the colourful characters and pace of the plot make it a brilliant book to read aloud, and I think I enjoyed it just as much as my son. And we both can't wait to read the next instalment!
9th May '19
I read it myself (an adult) & to Melonman aged 10 aged 10
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
4 stars
Really good book 
20th February '18
I read it myself (an adult)
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
4 stars
This is a very funny book and one which would have been better being read to a child than to myself.  Weird is normal and the characters are great. Super use is made  of font sizes and capitals and the illustrations are fantastic.
21st February '18
Actionbro9 read it themselves aged 10 aged 10
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
4 stars
I really enjoyed this book which was about a hotel that was mostly visable only to magic creatures. In this story a troll (also a Prince) comes to stay and the story continues to tell us why and what happens to him while he is there.

I loved all the creatures, the idea of the hotel was fun and it had me laughing a lot. My favourite character was the Prince as he was so rude to everyone and the lawn who could talk.
18th June '18
AnnaC read it themselves aged 8 aged 8
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
4 stars
we were lucky enough to see the authors read from the book when we were at a festival and were hooked from the start. Anna (*) loved the book, really fastpaced and entertaining, with slapstick humour and funny storylines. We cant wait for the next one
25th February '18
Rachy read it themselves aged 9 aged 9
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
4 stars
This was a funny story about a hotel only for magical creatures.
18th March '18
I read it myself (an adult)
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
4 stars
Great fun for Y3+, the Nothing To See Here Hotel is sort of what you'd get if you dropped the Furchester Hotel onto Scream Street and invited the rudest, most spoiled royal goblin to tea. Very funny, fast-moving without being overwhelming and lots of attention to detail which makes many of the characters (and the hotel itself) memorable. I particularly loved Granny the troll and I have no doubt we'll be seeing more of Frankie Bannister and his weird friends in the future.
10th April '18
I read it myself (an adult)
The Nothing to See Here Hotel 9781471163838
4 stars
I think this is a fab book for children, I know children in my class who have  read this book and loved it. They have found it very funny and laughed out loud whilst reading it. For me, it wasn't something I would normally choose to read but I would recommend it for children who like stories with aliens/monsters etc. 
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About Steven Butler

Steven Butler Biography
Steven Butler grew up in Kent, but now lives in London. He is the author of the bestselling The Diary Of Dennis The Menace and The Wrong Pong fiction series. As well as writing the hit 2015 World Book Day title, World Menace Day, Steven also is the regular host of World Book Day’s The Biggest Book Show on Earth which takes pla...

More about Steven Butler

About Steven Lenton

Steven Lenton Biography
Steven Lenton hails from Cheshire and now works from his studio in Soho, London creating an array of charming characters for his picture books. Best known for illustrating the bestselling Shifty McGifty series written by Tracey Corderoy, Ste...

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